Deo for the B.O.

It all began with Teen Spirit.
Then I switched to Lady Speed Stick.
I then decided to upgrade to Secret. The "clear" part of it is a lie.
I tried Degree once, not too crazy about it, back to Secret.
Tried the gel stick Secret, not a fan.
Then they had to come out with all these weird, obscure, ridiculously-named scents like "Totally Tropical" and "Ooh-la-la Lavender". Really now, it's deodorant for crying out loud! They are naming it as if it's a crayola or something! I just want my classic "Shower Fresh", por favor.
I tried Dove once or twice too, but wasn't too impressed.

Having tried all of these different kinds of deodorants, I always found the same result. They all seemed to leave that icky layer of white crap on the armpits of my shirts, ruining the fabric, and forcing me to go through the painstaking extra effort to pre-wash stuff before putting it in the wash. Sigh.

Then, on my mission, I picked up a quirky habit from one of my comps. I bought Old Spice. Yes, I know that is a man's deodorant. Yup, I dismissed the "Strong enough for a man, ph-balanced for a woman" slogan and went for the "Smell like a man and---yeah---that's it." Hehehe. I actually really liked it, ok? It went on smooth, smelled fresh (although a tad manly....but hey, perfume can take care of that!), it lasted MUCH longer than that old Secret, and best of all? NO WHITE CRAP.

So today when I was at Rite Aid in the deodorant aisle I looked at the Secrets. I looked at the Doves. I took off the lids and the plastic thingies (shh, don't tell!) and compared ingredients. I can't figure out why the man deodorant is nice and the ladie's ones lie with the "little black dress approved" sticker on 'em. I lingered around the Old Spice. I smelled them all and picked out the one I thought smelled the most neutral of them all. I bought it. Don't judge me.